Slit list revisions & additions

• Whores....any of them really.
  
• Those you do business with....BUSINESS
• The prostitutes in American Psycho...if they're good enough for Christian Bale...they're good enough for me.
• Sisters of your friends..(have to be older...wait....no they don't)
• Friends of your sisters
• Your friends single mom. Yeah. Weird.
• Your mom's single friend
• The one chick from the 80's show "Designing Women". The one who was Janene in Ghostbusters
  

The Richard Bullets Slit List

The Slit List, a near cousin of the Shit List, is almost the exact opposite in meaning. Whereas a Shit List is composed of people you'd like to see dead, a Slit List is a list of people you'd like to fuck. I'm an open and honest guy, so I've decided to publish my Slit List for all of you to see. It's constantly changing as I cross items off and continue to add on a weekly basis. Without further ado;

Richard Bullets' Slit List

• Japanese Schoolgirl
• Redhead, mid-twenties
• MILF, mid-forties, tan
• 18-year-old virgin
• a deaf girl
• a goth chick, like the kind you see at Ground Zero, but not as fat
  
• Pacific Islander wearing a grass skirt
• Teacher/Secretary/Librarian 4-some
• Nurse
• Black girl, big ass, mid-twenties
• Jessica Rabbit (if people could fuck cartoons)
• The girl that works at the downtown Arby's
• 32-year-old Indian woman (dots, not feathers)
• 18-year-old whore
• The Latino princess that works at Wells Fargo on Hennepin
• the ass (JUST the ass) connected to one of the women at the coffee shop near my work
• slutty dental technicians (in the chair of course, being sprayed with a fine mist from that weird gun)
• make that almost all Japanese girls
• Thai girls
• Stephanie Seymour, circa any Victorias Secret catalog from the late nineties.
• Skinny/tall white girls with pale skin and fros. Freckles are a must...
• Most of my ex girlfriends....only varying with bags over their heads, gags in their mouths, dead, almost dead, asleep, drunk, high and drunk
• Kate (or was it katie?) who was totally trying to pick me up at Triple Rock, somehow her efforts slipped past my radar
• 75% of the women downtown on Friday nights
• 80% of the women downtown on Saturday nights
• 10% of the women downtown on Sunday nights
• the girls (you know) with "dick sucking lips" All of them.....ALL OF THEM
• most women cutting my hair

Call it a lucky streak, I call it an average day in my life

Ahhh....summer time. Summer sun. Summer love. Summer no-strings fucking. Is there anything better? I think not. It seems I've got a bona fide freak on my hands. Not that I mind...and I'm positive that she doesn't mind.....yet, that is. If she wants to get freaky, I hope she's ready for a true freak. I've got a date tonight with a lucky lady. I'll recap here soon on my "festivities" of this evening.
Cheers.

The Game

I want to let you in on a game I play. Always. The only time I'm not actually playing this game is while I sleep. And even then, I'm simply dreaming of playing the game. Here are the rules:

• Every person that crosses your path is designated a positive or negative dollar amount
• That dollar amount represents what you would pay / have to be paid to have sex with said person

And that's pretty much it. Here's a sample scenario:

A beautiful woman walks toward me. I think to myself (it's best not to say this aloud): I would pay $3,500 to have sex with this woman. Then a large, sweaty, fat, man-child crosses my path. I immediately say under my breath: I would need to be paid $550,000 to have sex with this man. Plus, I would need to be blind-folded.

Simple. I like to tally my transactions after the day is done and I find out if I'm in the hole or not (huge pun intended). Usually I'm way ahead, due to my attractive nature. If money transactions bore you, bartering is also a great way to lengthen the game. But trust me, it never gets old.

Game on.